Death and Pain (reflections on my Dad's recent passing)

Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself. – C.S. Lewis

The greatest tragedy is not suffering in itself, but a response in which we succumb to it and become the thing we hate. Thus we perpetuate suffering by our own hands rather than forming a united front against it. The fact is that when bad things happen (or in the midst of so much bad) we have a choice- we give in to the darkness and become the thing we hate, or we stand in the face of it. We stand holding high a banner of love and hope in the face of overwhelming odds. As a Tsunami wall of blackness comes crushing down over us proclaiming “join or die” we spit in it’s eye and boldly, confidently dare to live in such a way that is the opposite of what hurt us. We dare to proclaim truth in the face of the greatest lie.

This kind of courage and bravery would seem futile in the face of death and pain mainly because, as one Mumford and Sons song points out “death is just so full and man so small”. We all feel the fear of death and pain, and there was a time when death had the final word, but that time is over- Because God himself endured death through his son, whom he raised from the dead victor over death. We no longer have to be afraid, because God himself has gone before us and defeated our greatest enemy. The only stupidly simple thing we have to do is take him at his word and the historical evidence of his sons resurrection from the dead and put our faith in him. Once we do this, something that was important to Jesus(God’s son whom I keep referring to) was baptism, so we do that too- baptism is basically the act of dunking a persons whole body underwater and then bringing them back up... We believe that the old people we used to be are actually buried under the water and we come up a whole new person that will live forever because of Jesus. We have God’s guarantee of this because he puts his own spirit in us from this point on, so that we can be sure we’ll never be the same old dead selves again. Have you accepted God’s salvation for mankind? His victory over death? Because in case you were wondering, it is only because of Jesus that we are able to stand gloriously stubborn in the face of death and pain.

I write this in light of my Dad and lifelong best friend Randy Moskaluk having died on Memorial day just 11 short days ago. Have you chosen to put your faith in Jesus and what he’s done for you? My Dad did, and do you know what one of the first things that happened to me on the day of his death was? That spirit of God I mentioned ealrier that he puts in us when we start our new lives with him (aka the Holy Spirit) filled me with overwhelming peace that my Dad was ok, that my Dad was in God’s arms that very moment. Do you have that? Do your kids have that? I’ve heard it said “I wish I could have faith like you but I can’t”- but I want you to see the reality is that there is no bigger copout than that, because you can. It’s like jumping off a cliff- it’s not about your ability, how much faith you are capable of producing, it’s about abandon. It’s about jumping off of the cliff of your insecurities and your having to be in control of everything and finally discovering what you’ve been looking for all along- that you were caught in the arms of your creator the moment your foot left the ledge.

Writing is a doorway

It's been awhile since I've been on here to write. Not just on here, it's been awhile since I've written at all other than some final papers for school. I've had alot of thoughts bottled up inside lately and they've been scratching to get out. I guess all this to say that I finally realized that writing is a door- it's a door that lets all my garbage out, and the occasional good thoughts to be heard. I realize this is a very basic thought... but only recently did I realize that I actually need to write- all the stuff swirling around in my head is starting to drive me a little nuts so you can plan on seeing more from me in the weeks and months to come (if for no other reason than the sake of my sanity).

Crap detectors and corporate meanies

So I’ve been thinking for myself a lot lately, something I didn’t used to do. I was probably afraid to because of people like the guy who spoke at Johnson (my current college) this morning and told us all that we didn’t really believe in Jesus if we didn’t interpret Genesis properly... and by properly he meant his way. I’m gonna go ahead and admit that I don’t completely agree with his interpretation of Genesis-but I definitely know Jesus. It’s kind of scary when we create a culture around church that is about just nodding along with the preacher. A bunch of people clapped after he said that and I wondered if they really meant it, I couldn’t decide. It’s ok though, if it were even a year ago i probably would have clapped too.

There are a lot things that scare us in to not thinking. This week at ‘anonymous franchise restaurant’ (I’ll call it that so I don’t get sued or something) aka my new place of employment, there is somewhat of a corporate reckoning happening. All of the big wigs are going from store to store and scaring all the little guys whilst making up excuses to fire them along the way. Last week the managers at our location called a mandatory meeting during which they handed out booklets and checklists- informing us that while corporate is here (this week) we would be required to serve them and pass a test on the new material. One mistake would mean termination. So while the big dogs are visiting for the week all of us servers are going to have to run around with our tails tucked between our legs. And honestly, I’ve met one of these guys. Do you know what happened? I walked up to him and shook his hand with a smile on my face and said “Hi my name’s Keifer good to meet you.” Awkward silence, accompanied by a hard stare and tight lips “Shouldn’t you be working?” No Mr. Corporate guy you should be working... ON YOUR PEOPLE SKILLS! I mean what’s the deal seriously? I can guarantee you that he didn’t get to this position by being rude to people, so what happened? It’s obvious to me that there is some element of fear involved.

And if you haven’t made the connection yet I’m also talking about the speaker this morning ex-cetera ex-cetera. There is a major element of fear, and I’m not talking about the fear people like mr. corporate meanie and the speaker inflicts on other people, but the fear they themselves are trying to hide. The fear that they will lose the power that they have over other people. The fear that if they show they are human, or allow for a two (or more) sided conversation they could possibly be wrong.

You know, I think It’s OK to be wrong, sometimes it’s better than ok, sometimes it’s healthy- and even freeing. The religious leaders of Jesus day were wrong about all the rules that they had made, a lot of the religious leaders of our day are wrong for the same reason. It turns out that they missed the simple truths of God because they had to have things their way. When Paul (this guy who used to be a Jewish religious leader) realized he was missing the point, and let himself be wrong- he became a free man! Because he acknowledged that he was wrong he was given the freedom to really live. Has it been awhile since you’ve been wrong? You should try it, you might experience some of that same freedom that Paul did when he was blinded by the light of truth on that dusty road. If you don’t ever think you’re wrong, what are you so afraid of anyway?

I had a professor tell me that my “crap detectors are way up”... that I’m good at detecting crap or inauthenticity. I guess that’s true. It’s especially good because I have plenty of my own crap to detect (I think I may have just crossed some sort of analogy line). At this point I’m just hoping it doesn’t get me into trouble at my place of employment this week. I’ll go ahead and promise a blog if I get fired for refusing to be treated as sub-human by some guy whose afraid of not being perceived as powerful. But enough of that. Getting to the heart of the matter, I hope that we who are Jesus followers can learn to be wrong sometimes. I have a feeling that when we can do this our eyes will be reopened to the simple truths of Jesus rather than trying to get things our own way. I hope that we can discover that when we let go of our own desperate attempts at power and control, we can be filled instead with the power of the God whose “strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

We've missed the point

The Jolokia Pepper, also known as the "Ghost Pepper". This pepper is registered in the Guinness book of World Records as the hottest pepper in the world. I am currently eating a bowl of soup with two drops of this deviously hot sauce in it and my mouth is virtually numb... That's right, after a wonderful vacation with my family I have obtained a hot-sauce lovers dream. And while sitting here, sweat running down my brow choking in those delicious spicy fumes a thought occurred to me... and that thought sounded something like this in my head- 'There is only a small percentage of the population that would ever even want to eat this, in fact many would consider it a form of punishment or torture...' then the next thought hit me hard and fast 'alot of people look at Christianity like this hot-sauce'. That is they see it as a sort of religious flavor that only certain people who have the right kind of taste buds will enjoy. And the worst of it is we add to this perception through denominationalism and division within our own numbers. The world comes to us saying "I think I like spicy food" and we play right in to the paradigm of categorization by saying "great now which denomination better suits your taste buds because their are over 18,000 different kinds of hot-sauce for you to choose from!" In 1 Corinthians Paul says that we are to be united in mind, and thought. Then later in 1 Corinthians 2:16 we are told that we have the mind of Christ. So then if we are united in the mind of Christ, then our thoughts will naturally flow out of that. So lets stop the arguing! Baptists say believe in your heart while Church of Christ says be fully dunked in the water- is their scriptural support for both? Yes! Then stop arguing over one or the other and do both. Is it not possible to be fully emerged and believe in your heart? Catholics pursue tradition and remembrance while Protestants pursue a certain worshipful freedom aspect, are both good things? Yes! So do both. Is it not possible to honor tradition and remembrance while maintaining Christian freedom? God's sovereignty vs. man's free will- are their verses that support both in the bible? Yes! Then why are we arguing. Because we can't wrap our minds around a God who can do both? And I know many of you are thinking to yourselves "Well he's missing the point" or "He just doesn't get it". But hear me out- God doesn't say things in the Bible for us to pick which one's we're going to take a side on, or which flavor hot sauce we want to become. The truth is that ALL of what God says is true, and our side picking is meaningless- the truth is that by classifying ourselves and polarizing ourselves based on different truths of God over and against other truths of God we have created a hypocrisy out of the inbreaking kingdom of God. We have stopped building on the Cornerstone of the good news of Jesus Christ and made other things (most of them good in themselves) the point and the foundations of our Churches and our faith. If I'm wrong then look around... What are denominations for? Why do Church splits happen? Not because people took a stand on Jesus but because people polarize the truths of God into opposites when in reality they should always be married and inseparable. Following Jesus is not a flavor or religion it is the only great truth on this earth. And followers of Jesus can no more be seperated into flavors than a physical body can be separated into parts and still think itself alive.

Pushing Through the dirt

Odd how weaknesses, struggles and setbacks all seem to come when you least expect them. Which is ironic because you'd think that would mean you could know when they are coming (i.e. when you least expect them). But oddly enough we're never ready for them when they hit for the first time, or resurface are we? It reminds me of when I used to help my Dad out in the yard. We would throw mulch and fresh dirt over top of grass and clover growing in our yard and within a few days that grass and clover would push itself back up through the dirt. Something about that imagery has stuck with me, but it's not what you would think. You may be guessing that I'm comparing the grass and clover to our struggles that resurface over time, which I wouldn't disagree with- but more of what I had in mind is how I oftentimes feel like that blade of grass, because it seems that just as I'm finally standing in the sunlight- a fresh shovel full of dirt falls square on my head. It's certainly true that nothing sucks more than when dirt happens, but recently I've noticed something else is happening here. Every time I have an inevitable set back, moment of failure, or the proverbial 'ton of bricks' hitting me square in the face I am presented with a HUGE choice. These moments, where I feel like a victim, or where I'm not proud of what I've done- these moments end up being the moments that define me. It's not when I feel good, or happy, or content, or jolly, or swell that I am becoming much of anything worth being. It turns out (yet again) that God knows what he's doing after all- because as Donald Miller discussed in his book "A Million Miles and a Thousand Years"-'Character transformation doesn't happen in any story (including ours) without conflict.' Though I may have had a weak moment, or been blindsided by circumstances or sorrow- I have realized that I am becoming who God is making me in the getting back up, and in the rebelling against whatever caused the fall. I have learned to rebel against sorrow with Christ centered joy. I have learned to rebel against my own weakness by fighting back internally, but most importantly by surrendering to God and allowing him to fight for me. Because no matter how much I am tempted to doubt God in these situations, the truth is he has always pulled through when I've leaned on him... and that's just the kind of person I'm learning to be, one that leans on God and pushes through the dirt.

Fuel good not evil!

So recently it occurred to me that there seems to be a deep inner need for the human soul to ignite powerfully every now and then. I know this sounds terribly confusing said raw and undigested like this but I'm writing this to give words to a feeling so hear me out. It seems that there is an anxiousness in my soul, as if my soul is tapping it's feet rapidly and constantly looking down at it's watch. . waiting, wanting to do something. Most of the time that anxiety is latent, silent, unnamed and unnoticed- but every once in a while it hits me- I NEED TO BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. Some of you may know the feeling I'm talking about as just that- an anxiousness to move, to act, to be, to become. But the real aha moment for me that prompted this blog was this- I realized that this anxiousness is one in the same as temptation. Hear me out- temptation is Satan taking advantage of the fire wood that naturally builds up in my soul. The untapped raw human potential. I have recently had the powerful and liberating experience of discovering that I can take that fire wood and use it to fuel a different fire than the one I am being tempted to fuel. Because you see up to now I would always flee the fire wood altogether and blow desperately at any sparks that passed by- but now that I've realized that my need to kindle a fire in my soul can be turned towards good and unleashed in a flurry of light rather than darkness- I have found an incredible raw source of passion and power for good. So feeling temptation has become a mere indicator for me that I can redirect the fire and do great good. Some of my best writings, study times, and moments with God have drawn from the redirecting of this fire. I take the pent up anxiousness and chuck it as hard as I can towards something good and surprisingly enough something altogether beyond what I could have hoped to accomplish before seems to just happen. So to sum up- Temptation is Satan trying to get us to use latent energies and raw potential towards evil. I propose that we have the ability to not only avoid temptation, but to take the latent anxiety and energy within ourselves and use it for good rather than evil. Really, try it! Next time you feel any kind of overriding temptation give it to God and say "Lord, please help me direct this raw energy and passion into a fire for you"- then take that fire and write a song, a letter to someone who needs it, a poem, go for a run and reflect, paint quickly and passionately, worship, sing, dance, call someone and tell them you miss them, move, take powerful action to spite whatever the temptation may have been, let God break your heart- just give it to God and pour out your heart to bring good with this temporary flare up of raw passion and energy. Use it quickly and deliberately for good before it get's diverted to evil or fizzles out!

Victory!

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http://www.standingonthedesk.blogspot.com

Monday, August 2

Not your typical staff meeting…