Floating Bricks

Sometimes staring at yourself is like facing a villain for the first time. All this time he’s been there trying to ruin your story, but you never noticed until this one time that you actually looked in the mirror. It seems to me that the whole human condition is just one big struggle between our selfishness and the inherent goodness God built into us from the beginning. Sure there are forces that help either side along (not to mention the context of a bigger story), but ultimately we have to make up our minds. Notice I didn’t say choose. . that would be too easy. I said make up our minds because there’s emotions and passions and desires and confusion and blindness and stupidity and complacency and distractions and brokenness and pain and setbacks and falldowns all along the way isn’t there. Sometimes I feel like a Brick and it seems like all I can do is sink. . Other times I shoot up to the surface like some kind of . . i’dno thing that floats. And when I do that floating thing I know it’s not me doing it, it’s pretty plane to me during those times that it’s God. But strangely enough it seems that when I’m doing the Brick thing there’s something I need to change.That’s the strange thing that I guess I’m trying to say. . I fee like a Brick whose been told he needs to learn how to float. Odd that God chose bricks when it was floating he wanted done. I wish this keyboard were piano keys, and I could play a beautiful heartbroken song over my human condition. Which by the way is beautiful and heartbroken. You know it’s odd how it takes us so long to believe in God, then even longer to notice him, and then even longer than that to realize that he’s always been there, and maybe if your lucky you take your life in your hands, stop lying on the floor crying to him to do the work for you, and start walking and laughing with him all the while knowing he’s right there giving you exactly what you need. . . I wish I could say I’ve been able to get off the floor and start being the floatingest dang brick you ever did see, but I’m reminded daily that I’m not even close. God uses the weakest, most fragile, delusional things doesn’t he? I believe that God’s help is abundant and infinitely beautiful, it just turns out that he’s waiting on me to finally take some initiative. Dear Lord please bless this Brick’s desire to float